A Fact’s A Fact: Dunnottar Castle And Then Some

Stonehaven is a Place On Earth

Must be the reason why I’m Queen of my castle. Aye 2.0 and I had one of our first dates at Dunnottar Castle. I’m really glad that was 5 years ago because back then I had epic legs. Dunnottar Castle sits on its own castle rock/cliff in Aberdeenshire. To get there is an epic climb. I probably wouldn’t be able to do that now because I left my legs in 2012. But if you can make the climb (they don’t have a lift because it’s like a million years old), you should. Here are some relatively interesting facts and reasons why you should be visiting Dunnottar Castle, during your epic Scottish Castle tour.

Old Rocks

The massive huge cliff rock that the castle sits on was forced to the surface roughly 440 million years ago. Isn’t it insane that smart folk can work this out even if they are just guessing because even their great great great grannies weren’t around then to tell them? I think about things in far too much depth. For housing a stunning and Scottish-postcard famous castle, this rock is the most spectacular setting. The location is only slightly rivalled by Urquhart Castle, on the banks of Loch Ness and Eilean Donan because EILEAN DONAN. Basically what I’m saying is you need to go on a Scottish castle tour yesterday.

I’m a Viking, Grrrr

That title was infact a reference to Donkeys, “I’m an ogre, grrrr” chat in Shrek 2. If you got that then I owe you a thimble and a glass of sherry. But more to the point… In the 9th century, King Donald II of Scotland was killed at Dunnottar Castle by some blood-thirsty Viking bloke. Then the Viking bloke and his pals went on to destroy the castle. I don’t get this. Why do invaders always destroy castles? We assume nobody back then fancied a nice wee holiday home near Stonehaven. If I happened to invade a castle with that location, you’d better bet I’d be working on renovations.

William Wallace, because this is Scotland after all

In 1297, William Wallace captured the castle. The English garrison inside took refuge in the church and then Wallace was like, “Nah, none of that, burn the buggers.” (I’m only guessing what he said). But that’s what he did! He blew the English garrison up. I am so glad that Scottish and English folk sort out their issues in parliament these days. But basically, if Dunnottar Castle’s not haunted then I’ll eat my feet.

Mary Queen of Scots: The Original Feminist

In 1562, Mary Queen of Scots visited Dunnottar Castle for the first time. We can only assume she got a jumbo sausage supper from the Bay Chipper, spotted seals and did some number painting for adults. Why? Because not one soul documented her time here. Nobody had Twitter back then because if they did #QueenOfScots would be trending and it wouldn’t even be about me.

But never mind all that, it’s a mofo castle on a cliff rock. Goals. Plan your visit here.



The Chief.