Classy Columba Hotel Inverness Review

A home in the Highlands


The benefit of having family in every corner of Scotland (just Inverness) means that we can take last minute trips to gate crash other peoples houses when we get a little sick of the shape of our own walls. Recently, I had itchy feet and a ‘distempered manner,’ Scotts words, not mine. Unfortunately because he wasn’t keen on Sweden (long story), I was dragged kicking and screaming back doon to Inverness toon. I wasn’t actually complaining to be fair as I knew that not only did I get to put up with my granny critiquing me ‘in a loving way’ but I also had a stay at the Columba Hotel to make use off.

Ch Ch Ch Checking me in

Scott and I stay in hotels more than our house to the extent that we are debating changing our house in to a hotel suite to feel more at home. Usually when we stay in hotels, we arrive dead on our feet and are either working to or are passed out by 1am. This is the first ever time that I got to kind of switch off for the night. I didn’t just switch off, I completely shut down to the extend that I needed a complete reboot. We took Scotts dragon wagon up to Inverness and with the Columba being so central we were concerned that Tesco would kick off at our long stay plans. However, there is a car park literally 5 minutes from the Home-tel beside the beautiful Inverness Cathedral so I kept my moaning to a minimum.

Toto, I’ve a feeling we’re not in Kansas anymore

First impressions are everything, I answered the door to the postman once looking like Cinderellas ugly sisters even more ugly cousin and I swear he avoids me now. So the Highland welcome awaiting us in the Columba Hotel was everything. The receptionist was definitely cheerier than my gin hangover and pointed us to room 204, down the yellow brick road and up the elevator.

Room 204? Room 2 0 fabulous! They only went and put us in to a really sweet looking suite. The room consisted of an entrance area with a desk and wardrobe then followed through in to a quirky, cosy and traditional living room area with coffee table and TV before meeting the bedroom. Although it was all open plan, it felt like a mini flat. Regardless of all the amenities of a really great room, you just cannot buy a great view. Although I grew up looking at Inverness for 21 solid years, I have never seen it from a pigeon eye view. We spent hours sitting by the window watching the River Ness wiggling its waves and Inverness Castle flapping its flags.

Scott has since decided we are redecorating the house to be in the same style as the Columba Hotel, so petition to keep us working away as long as possible… Ain’t nobody got time for IKEA, although it would be pretty.

You ain’t seen nothing yet

One could spend a lifetime discussing furnishings but does one ever consider the bubble? I was all about the Home in the Highlands with the stunning view and the cosy comforts that I forgot all about the bathroom. Mama be happy with her next step. Not only did the bathroom bring with it square metres, but it was spotless and contained a separate shower and bath. Not just any old bath, they only went and threw in a roll top cast iron bath. All for me?!

Tap That

I never go anywhere without my friend clumsiness and this one trumps the lot. Scott hopped out for a BC’s pizza because where else are you going to order food in Inverness? BC’s = the boss of all pizza. Whilst he was out, I decided to get physical all the way from the sofa to the roll top. Singing songs and pouring in lotions and potions, I watched the bubbles rise like some soapy cauldron. The excitement was looming, I could feel it in my knees. Before I could get a tippy toe in to my new bliss, Scott was back with all manners of pepperoni so I had to put relaxation on hold.

After stuffing my brains with some great pizza, I returned to the roll top for round 2 of the bath time qualifiers. Does anybody else run a hot bath then realise all their skin will definitely burn off and end up with 3 parts cold water? Story of my life. Scott hit the shower next to me and everything was going well. Until it was time for me to vacate bubble glory. I told Scott to turn around because me getting out of the bath is like watching a sheep climb in to a pringle box. Pointless and unsuccessful. I even told him ‘I am going to end up having an accident, will you just turn around?!’



I turned on to my hands and knees and in one strong attempt to get myself up, I pushed by rear end right in to the tap followed by Scott making me aware that you are not supposed to shout that kind of language in a hotel. There is now Columba bath tap branding on my bottom. So, so worth it though.

I always feel like, somebody’s watching me

The rest of the evening was spent with me whimpering every time I sat down but I am really glad I got to experience a red raw toosh in such lovely surroundings. We sat for the rest of the evening in our sitting room area by the huge windows, enjoying people watching and scoffing nibbles. A wonderful way to top off a busy weekend in the capital of the Highlands.

Home-tel in the Highlands

The lush furnishings, traditional Highland decor and comfy added extras made the Columba Hotel not only a pleasant stay but also very much in keeping with a trip to the Highlands. The central location could not be any more perfect for visiting the many Inverness restaurants, pubs and attractions. You can book your stay here.

We would like to thank the Columba for hosting us as this was exactly what we needed during a very busy transformation of the website. As always, my opinions are funny, relevant and cannot be bought, even with diamonds.



The Chief.