It’s all fun and games until someone gets drunk
Which was me. I totally get what SIA meant when she talked about swinging from the chandelier. Except I did it in fluffy socks and a coconut-coloured bra. That never happened. But when I drink martinis, anything can happen. And seeing as Scott announced at last minute that he wouldn’t be joining me for a cocktail (buzzkill), I had to drink all 4 Tipple Box cocktails on my own. But let’s be serious… No complaints. Oh and true story; when I told Scotts mum that I was writing a Tipple Box review about Pornstar Martinis and Sex on the Beach, she genuinely said “in Cruden Bay? Oh, I hope you wrapped up warm.” I don’t know what’s worse, the hangover or awkward sex chat with mum-in-law. We need to cap that woman at hello I think.
Sex on the Beach
Ice cold, flushed, wet and slightly tropical. That’s how I like my Sex on the Beach. And that’s exactly what I got. For the record, I was totally pre-menstrual during said cocktail creation so although Scott wasn’t joining me for a tipple, he was tasked with bringing booze to me whilst I lay on the sofa in my fluffy dressing gown, crying over dog documentaries. This worked out well for both of us. He was hitting his Apple Watch goals and I was getting boozy. Oh, happy days.
Scott tried a wee bit of my Sex on the Beach and this is what he said, “that’s much nicer than the Sex on the Beach that you get in pubs.” He did actually reference an old bar in Aberdeen but I don’t fancy a slander lawsuit for Christmas. For the record, I am listening to epic 80’s tunes whilst I write this Tipple Box review. And I’m not going to lie, I am rockin’ the fork oot.
By this point, I was feeling Cawny (cocktail-horny in a New Jersey accent). So I was more than ready for a bright yella’ pornstar martini. So when Scott came through with this flushed confusion in a glass, I thought “bingo, there’s extra sex on the beach!” But it turned out that he had just “accidentally” chucked cranberry juice in my pornstar martini. Because why not? I’ll tell you why not. What the fork are you putting cranberry juice in my pornstar martini for? Did it stop me drinking it? Did it hell.
Tipple Box Review
Tipple Box time is my favourite time of the whole month. And sadly, I never got a chance to enjoy it last month. But then you guys got an Instagram giveaway. So all is fair in love and cocktails. November’s tipple box included two of Friary’s liqueurs; peach and passionfruit, Renaissance Vodka and sugar syrup, mango and passionfruit juice, and cranberry juice. Winner winner, make me thinner. Grab your first Tipple Box with a tenner off using the code ‘AYELIFE10.’